A Letter To My Younger Self...
If I could go back in time and teach myself lessons that I know now, I so would. At the time my life seemed pretty shitty, but I’ve grown up to realise it wasn't all as bad as I thought, and everything that has happened to me in life has allowed me to be the person I am today.
Dear my younger self.
Don’t rush to grow up. Before you know it you'll want to be young again. Growing up isn't easy and you’ll sure as hell learn that. Hold onto your youth and cherish every moment of it. Don't take your parents for granted. They do a hell of a lot for you, especially your mum, and even though at times it may seem as if she's being the worst person on the planet and she's out to ruin your fun, just remember she knows whats best for you, she knows you better than anyone, and as much as you try and deny it, she knows you better than yourself- and always will.
You’re not going to know what you want to do with your life and at some points you may even think everything is pointless. Deep down you know what you really want, don't deny it. Things will come to you if you want them to and believe they will. You may have to wait for four years or so for certain things, but they will come, slowly but surely.
In life, you need to do things for you. Be selfish and think about yourself sometimes. In the end your happiness and decisions for a better future means a lot. Don’t be so naive as to trusting everyone. Anyone has the power to turn what you told them against you. If people tell you their secrets, don't jump to the conclusion that this signifies that you're best friends. They've probably told around 20 other people already…
Saying that, people do deserve a second chance. People are going to hurt you so badly in life at times and those memories will stick with you for the rest of your life. Your trust in those people will be fractured forever, but people do change. Just realise that when they do, its because they've realised how shitty they’ve been and you shouldn't hold any of their past against them, no matter how hard it was for you at the time.
You'll learn feelings change at the most unexpected times, but thats okay because you’re still young and constantly learning about what you do and don't want in life. You turn into a strong believer of that people come and go from your life for a reason. You’re now learning about what you stand for and you’ve also started to take no shit from anyone which is surprising because you will go through a period of your life will very low confidence and the mindset that you have noone in life. You’ll go through a time when you think nothing will ever get better, but it will all be okay, I promise. You're not fully there with your confidence but its developing with time.
You’re going to start a YouTube channel and a blog and find that you have a huge passion for both of them. People are going to judge you for it and talk shit about you but just remember to think to yourself “what are they doing with their lives?” - take it as a compliment, you’re a hot topic of conversation. There are people in life who will try and drag you down with them. Dont fall as low as them. Know that you're worth much more and no matter how many cruel words they throw your way, remember thats more a reflection of them, not you.
You’re 18 now, you’re about to go into university in September and start a new chapter in your life. I know, what the fuck. Oh spoiler alert, you pass you IB exams with 39 fucking points, (I know, current Chloe still can't believe it either) so stop stressing all the time about school and try and have more fun. You may hate it with an absolute passion now, but believe me when I say you’ll miss it when you leave, and you'll miss absolutely every single friend you took for granted. You’ll learn popularity is not a thing and that having one best friend is better than 1000 fake ones- and you'll quickly learn who the fake ones are. Live in the moment and stop caring about what people think of you. If they don't like you, fuck them, they're not an asset to your life, theres billions of people in the world, just because a certain few don't like you doesn't mean nobody ever will. You’ll be quick to learn people care more about their own lives than yours, so surround yourself with positivity and try not to live with the negativity you feed yourself.
Oh and Chloe... You have a resting bitch face :)
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